Honoring Fear
We’d all like to think that we’ve fully healed or recovered from our traumas and struggles that life has thrown at us but the truth is, our mind doesn’t forget things so easily. We all face things monthly, weekly, daily that make us uncomfortable or fearful.
Last year I experienced anxiety like I had never felt before. I’m talking body numbing, blacking-out, throwing up, heart pounding, convulsing anxiety. Even though I have a pretty good understanding of the human body and know that my body was shutting down to protect me, I was convinced there was something else wrong with me. No way could something so psychological cause such an extreme physiological response. Well, it does and it did.
I think it is safe to say that most of our society has a “dieting mentality” when it comes to brain health. We go through a season of life that is difficult and we incorporate things like meditation, exercise, reading, self care, etc. into our lives until we feel better. We’re feeling great for a few months after this and then we go back through the tough season. I will totally admit to this. The truth is, the brain is just as much a vital organ as our heart, liver and kidneys- the most important, I would argue. This experience was the last straw for me. I was so tired of the ups and downs and every other emotion that comes with the anxiety shit storm.
The first thing I realized is that, like every other human, I experience fear. So, how do you fight something that you can’t run from? How do you get rid of something that is a part of you? You don’t. You experience it and it sucks. But then, you figure out ways to handle those feelings in a different way. You teach yourself to transform fear into love. You trust that some other source that is WAY more powerful than you has control and that you do not. Truly loving yourself is the first step to healing your body or your mind.
I want to share some steps I took (and am continuing to take) in this process:
Meditate
You hear it all the time but it actually is one of the most powerful things you can do for your mind. You are literally re-programming your thoughts. It’s important to let your mind wander and be able to bring it back to the present moment. Showing gratitude has been hands-down the most helpful thing for me. Especially on the days when you don’t think you can even get out of bed- you can be grateful for the little things. Everything you do is a response of the things you tell yourself.
2. Find your Ritual
It’s important to give yourself some “you” time. Every morning, I meditate for 10 minutes, journal, read something inspirational for 10 minutes and drink a glass of water before starting my day. This helps me to not go straight to my phone or start the day off with wandering thoughts. I know that if I start the day centered, the rest of the day will be centered.
3. Let yourself Feel
This is one of the hardest things to do. When a moment of anxiety or depression or whatever the feeling is, surfaces, you need to feel it, accept it and then re-frame it. Do not get frustrated with yourself but instead, take this opportunity to talk nicely to yourself and be on your own team. Life is hard and you’re going to feel stressed and that’s okay. Your body wants to live. Everything you feel is a protective response. You cannot run from yourself. The sooner you accept and re-frame your thoughts, the sooner you will be able to heal.
4. Find your Mantra
Having a word or phrase that you can repeat to yourself throughout the day when you start to feel un-centered is an important part of transforming your fear to love. Something like, “I am safe. I know that the universe will only bring good to me.”
5. Exercise and Breathe
Exercise is especially important for anxiety, as I’ve pointed out before. When our bodies feel anxious, we want to move big muscles. Finding an exercise routine that you enjoy and makes you feel good will add gratitude and confidence into your life. Finding a breathing practice that is meaningful to you can also be helpful. I like the “4, 7, 8” breathing pattern (in for 4 sec, hold for 7 sec, out for 8 sec). The drawn out breath triggers our vagus nerve and tells the body that it is safe and it is unnecessary to be in a sympathetic state.
6. Surround yourself with Positivity
Love and happiness is contagious but so is negativity. Surround yourself with people who inspire you, make you laugh and want to see you live your best life. Let go of toxic environments and replace them with positive ones. It’s okay to be kind out of selfishness. Showing random acts of kindness can make someone else’s day but it also makes you feel good and gives a sense of purpose.
If we can’t honor our fears, then we can’t honor ourselves to our fullest potential because fear is always going to be present. Just like anything, this takes consistency, vulnerability, patience and time. The good news is you can start right now and it’s free!!!! Take a mental scan of your life and figure out where you can lend some tlc. ♥